i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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