margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
