Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
