she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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