It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
