this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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