i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Gay?
German.
Pity.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
