I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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