Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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