; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
