also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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