We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
