maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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