one might say we're banned from that church
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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