Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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