Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
