girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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