I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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