she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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