I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
