this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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