i think my tv is drunk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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