he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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