I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
