Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
