Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
