is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
