if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
