Don't you send me to vm
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize