i think i have herpe
just one?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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