so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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