guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
