she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
