Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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