how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
