Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
