I'm so fucking centered right now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
