and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
