Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
