WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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