Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
