Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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