I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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