i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize