Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
