Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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