im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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