At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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