This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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