I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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