Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
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