It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
