I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
