do herpes really smell.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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