I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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