matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
im six kinds of drunk right now
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Green mimosas i think yes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
