that's an acceptable place to lick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
