Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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