so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
