where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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