Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
