those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
