That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
