Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
